[About this blog] Inspired by local soccer player Mike Lim during my rookie reporter days at Singapore Polytechnic, I set up this blog in August 2002. I feel that blogging is a novel platform to document interesting facets of my life and my thoughts on certain issues. [Email blogger] ephraim@singnet.com.sg

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

[new songs for ndp]
as the national day parade draws nearer, the people at talkingcock.com have also come up with solutions on educating the people sexually... and perhaps this may solve singapore's declining birth rates too...

National Songs to Get Sexy
In a desperate attempt to heighten Singaporeans' sense of awareness regarding sexual education, the Gahmen recently announced that they will be introducing a 'sexy' twist to our very familiar national songs.

Political pundits agree that this campaign probably follows in the wake of the recent and controversial decision to redeploy POSB to as a national sperm bank.

"National songs, like Count On Me Singapore, have always been very very popular. But today, we must stress a whole new dimension about patriotism. Now when we desperately need more children, I believe that instead of simply chanting, 'Count on me, Singapore!' it makes more sense for Singaporeans to actually moan, 'oh baby, cum in me, Singapore!'" said Minister of Procreation Limp Hng Kiang. "We intend to unleash a nationwide campaign to drill the new versions of familiar national songs into Singaporeans by playing the songs on radio and television."

Aside from ‘Cum In Me, Singapore’, Singaporeans can also look forward to other 'sexy Singaporean songs' like:

- Five Inches Arising (formerly ‘Five Stars Arising’)
- One Excited People (formerly ‘One United People’)
- Shoot In Me (formerly ‘Shine On Me’)
- We Are Seeing a Whore (formerly ‘We Are Singapore’)
- Kan People, Kan Nation, Kan Singapore (formerly ‘One People, One Nation, One Singapore’)
- Where I Chee Hong (formerly ‘Where I Belong’)
- Stand Up for Singapore (no need to change title)

However, the move has angered many parents because of the explicit sexual nature of the new national songs.

"Nao hiah! Nowadays this world very dirty. All Gahmen's fault. Last time I used to masturbate while playing porn videos on my TV. Now even kids can masturbate because of such saucy songs. How can like that! What is our world coming to?" said Mr. Lim Peh, a very worried resident of Tampenis, who also pens an occasional column for this website.

However, Minister Limp brushed away such criticism, saying, " Hng hng hng? Not true! Those parents seriously don't know how to hng, baby."

With that, Mr. Limp Hng Kiang proudly activated a powerpoint presentation, flashing the lyrics for the “remixed” version of ‘Count On Me, Singapore”:

(Sung to the tune of Count On Me Singapore)

There is a new law for us to follow
Just believe, just believe
We must make love for Singapore
To make babies, to make babies
Boys and girls, let's do our part
Stand together, butt to butt
Our birth rate is getting low, and we must stop it
To make babies, to make babies

There is a need to know sex is good and ain't a sorrow
So let's drop our pants and do what Steve Chia died for
I ejaculated in your ass, it's a disaster Singapore shares
Stop oral and anal sex, oh horny you and me
Let’s make babies, let’s make babies

Cum in me Singapore, cum in me and on my ass no more

Boys and girls, don't poke your butts,
Fark together, test your luck
Our birth rate is getting low, and we must stop it
To make babies, to make babies

Cum in me Singapore, cum in me Singapore
Cum in me and on my ass no more

(Repeated Chorus)

Cum in me Singapore Singapore (FADE OUT)

And more are coming...


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