[The smoking ban]
When I read the letter "Smoking ban seems to be hazy in some places" from Elena Lau in today's edition of Today, I laughed. It was a loud laugh.

The funny part that tickled me was the way she poked fun at the PSI index. Or was it the work of creative editors at Today?

Here's what she wrote:

A few months ago, the government implemented Non-Smoking Zones in all coffeehouses and hawker centres.

During that time, plainclothes officers went around the island’s eateries to keep tabs on people violating this new law. Fines were imposed on those who were found guilty.

Since then, fewer offences have been reported in the newspapers. Or has the law been simply forgotten?

Consider this instance.

I was having breakfast at a coffeeshop in the east recently. Being heavily pregnant, my husband suggested that we find a table away from patrons who had packets of cigarettes on their tables.

I told him confidently that they would not smoke here as there was a no-smoking signboard that could be seen by all patrons. I was wrong.

Shortly after we sat down, the woman at the next table took out a cigarette and lighted up. Her partner followed suit. Moments later, patrons at another table next to us also took out their cigarettes and joined in.

It was as if we were back to the days of the hazy season when the PSI index soared to 80.

I could see that the coffeeshop’s assistant was grappling with the dilemma of whether to inform the smokers about the law and risk having unhappy patrons, or simply to ignore them.

In the end, nothing was done. My question is, has the smoking ban gone up in smoke?

Are you laughing already? Not yet?

Perhaps the people in the coffee shop in the east were having a cigarette-lighting competition. Fastest who lights up wins - but win to a fine?

Does not sound fine to me.

I always wanted to write on this topic but was afraid to offend the smoking population in Singapore. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them. In fact, I have many very close friends that are smokers.

The thing about the ban is that there is no proper enforcement or control. Yes although there is a hotline to report errant smokers, how effective is that hotline? By the time the officers come, all that is left are cigarette ashes.

Unless we have a STOMP citizen journalist around who captures the smoky incident on tape. Or maybe these citizen journalists can be rewarded when they turn in errant smokers (remember our anti-piracy campaign) - earn cash when we nab an errant smoker based on your tip-off.

Once, during my political science class, a group suggested having a smoke-only zone. It was wacky idea but it may work. This smoke-only zone will be a well ventilated room for smokers to smoke. Smokers can smoke till the PSI ratings in the room hit 1000.

To protect the environment, there will be a proper filtration device to expel the smoke. Non-smokers will not be present in that area (or building), and cigarette smoke will not whiff out of and take non-smokers by surprise. And everyone will be happy. No second-hand smoke. Those who like to smoke can have a smoky time.

The only thing is that 'smoke gets in your eyes'. The eyes of the smokers that is. (I remember one of mrbrown's podcast having that corny song). Oh, it was about PSI ratings.

So while there is a youtube clip (MTV is passe, but the staff at MTV have cool namecards) that has the tune "Money, money, money" with a subtle Singaporean flavour of PM's 'mee siam mai hum', maybe it is time for a 'Smoke gets in your eyes' clip.

But then the subtle humming of 'mee siam mai hum' in the background will not blend well with 'Smoke gets in your eyes'.

We'll leave it to them then.